Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Randomize
