Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
