nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
