hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
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