Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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