she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize