i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Randomize
