I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
