Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
