I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
