1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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