I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
