If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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