I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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