I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
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