Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
