just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Do vagina's smell?
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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