It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
where does the pee come out of this thing
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
