Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Dating After Heartbreak
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.