the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Randomize
