Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Did you just see the Batmobile???
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Randomize
