I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
