does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Randomize
