JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." π ππ·
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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