I just made out with a guy for $7.
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Randomize
