I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
