The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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