I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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