i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Randomize
