I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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