Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Randomize
