therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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