YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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