SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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