i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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