watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
