I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
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