Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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