Fine. I'll sleep in my office
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
porn star boner night. come get it.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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