I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
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WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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