Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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