sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Randomize
