dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
