Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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