before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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