How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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