Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
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