Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Randomize
