The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
