never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
And then my night got REAL pukey
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Randomize
