He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
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