I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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