and my herpes radar will keep us safe
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
