Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize
