i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
