Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
