yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Randomize
