Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
