This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Randomize