I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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