whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
My hand turned me down
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
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